Once upon a time
by CrazyPerson514
Summary: In a land much further away than you would think, the very charming Prince Blaine has set out on a mission that he knows nothing about, to help a possibly insane Princess defeat a very attractive Wicked Witch who may or may not be trying to end the world.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a Fairy Tale. Sort of, only there are a lot of incorrect capitalizations and probably a lot of OOC-ness. Oops. Whatever, it took over my brain and went places. Weird Klaine filled places. I don't even know anymore. This... was not supposed to happen.**

_Disclaimer- I do not own Glee, or any type of Fairy Tale. Probably a good thing._

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Once upon a time there was a Princess, her name was Sue and she was in charge of everything because she was very kind and sweet, apart from all of the times that she wasn't.

There was also a Castle made of dirt that may or may not have been made for no reason, a very dapper Prince named Blaine who falls off of his horse because of the weight of his good intentions, and a Curse that doesn't really seem to be all that bad to anyone but the Princess, as it is full of accidental butterflies and happy feelings, but the Princess was the one you need to look out for and she says it was a curse.

Like any good Fairy Tale there was an Evil Witch named Kurt who might have be trying to help everyone, his trusted side-kick Rachel (who really was quite positive that she was in charge) a Dragon named Brittany who actually isn't a Dragon, but cares more about gold than fire (because smoke doesn't tell the truth, and gold shows who you are), and a very convoluted plot to find True Love for everyone that may just be a conspiracy to end the world.

Only, according to the ever wise Oracle Schuester the Princess was very insane, and the Curse doesn't affect Giants named Finn, the Prince probably isn't real and might be slightly invisible, and True Love is far more confusing than it sounds. The Dragon ran off to hoard its treasure with the very obvious and not at all frightening Cave Dweller named Santana who is probably cursed, and the Witch turned out to be the good guy (who said that all witches are girls anyway) who might have to save everyone and rescue the Prince in the end.

Doesn't that just mess with your head.

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Our story starts at the end, because that is the only way that you can tell that the beginning was real.

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The end is cold and slightly frightening, it also has far too many birds that are really trying to help, and a group of good guys that might have killed the heroes because Giants don't know when to keep quiet.

On accident.

Really more because of a series of misunderstandings than anything else, but there is blood, injured heroes, a missing Dragon and a very upset Cave Dweller who is threatening the side-kick with serious bodily injury.

Are you sure you want to hear the beginning?

**A/N- The next chapter will make more sense I think. Actually, it probably wont but there will be Kurt so... Let me know about any glaringly obvious typos or screw ups please.**


	2. It's a brand new day

_Disclaimer- I do not own Glee, or any type of Fairy Tale._

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The story starts on a Tuesday.

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Actually, it starts several years before Tuesday on a Saturday when Princess Sue (who isn't a Princess in any sense of the word yet) decides that she should really get around to being in charge and steals a kingdom.

In all fairness King Schuester wasn't doing a magnificent job ruling it anyway. He was too busy trying to sing his feelings to the people so that they knew that he understood them.

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Our story starts on a very bright sunny Tuesday, long after the kingdom stealing and subsequent banishment of its former King.

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It starts with Prince Blaine, who is honestly a very charming Prince if you ask him. Even though he has very slight, almost non-existent problems accepting that he can't actually save everyone.

Actually it starts with Prince Blaine accepting a quest to find and kill the very evil Witch who has probably cursed Princess Sues kingdom.

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Prince Blaine agrees to find the no doubt despicable being that has cursed the kingdom with good weather and people that keep falling in love with each other.

And butterflies, a very large amount of butterflies that follow the Princess around.

On this Tuesday Prince Blaine sets off to kill the Wicked Witch, and save the kingdom from a gruesome feelings-induced, butterfly filled end.

In return he gets to feel like a very charming, and dapper hero.

Until his horse Sebastian decides that it has enough of his very charming princely self and somehow manages to deposit him in a lake.

With a merman. Named Sam. Who really finds the entire thing more amusing than he should.

That is where our story starts.

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Blaine was wet, and he was cold, and he was not having a very amazing day.

Also there was a very shirtless, rather attractive person laughing at him.

"I meant for that to happen."

He tried not to sound like he was whining.

Even though he would have been perfectly justified if he was whining, what with getting lost, misplacing his entire group of knights, and somehow getting kicked off his horse.

Shirtless was still laughing, and when Blaine though about it, he really wasn't all that attractive after all.

"Right. Just, the falling part. Doesn't look like you enjoyed it so much."

In fact, he was definitely ugly.

"You shouldn't laugh at me. I'm a Prince. On a very important quest to kill an evil Witch. Very important."

And Blaine wasn't whining. At all.

Shirtless smiled at that, and laughed again.

"I'm a merman."

The very hideously shirtless man noticed the not at all obvious skepticism on Blaines face and lifted his… tail. His tail. Out of the water. Where his tail was.

"I thought merpeople were girls."

Shirtless wasn't laughing anymore, and Blaine was almost positive the rather cold water got colder.

Sebastian, who is the very worst horse ever born was making a noise that, on a human, would probably be a laugh.

"I thought you were on an important quest."

And darker, the water was much darker than when he had… jumped off the side of Sebastian into it.

"I am, very important. Evil Witches and all. So, I'm going to start that."

For some reason it was important to Blaine not to look away from shirtless as he got out of the water, and if he moved faster than usual, it was because he was cold.

Shirtless smiled when Blaine fell, and it wasn't a nice smile.

"Right, Witches. I know Witches. I could bring you to them if you want, chances are they are the ones that you are looking for."

Blaine was out of the water and in reach of his sword again, so he ignored the very quiet voice that sounded like his misplaced knight Wesley that was telling him that it was probably a bad idea to listen to creatures that he had just insulted.

Instead he gathered what was left of his Princely Pride, and thanked shirtless very graciously.

Shirtless had several not nice smiles and Blaine got another one

"No problem, name's Sam by the way."

X

They were fighting again, but this time it was not her fault.

In fact, Rachel was sure it was Kurts fault this time.

"Rachel, I swear, if you Dissapeared my staff I will kill you. Then I will bury you under whatever disgusting pile of manure you found those robes in."

Jesse was no help in this situation, because he was busy being immature and laughing.

Rachel resigned herself to the role of victim, blamed unjustly for crimes she hadn't committed.

Being an Evil Witch wasn't as easy as it seemed. Also, Kurt had no idea how hard Rachel worked, and how underappreciated she was.

However, she decided not to point that out to him when he was upset.

The last time she had, Jesse spent four days getting her out of a limbo filled with puking kittens.

"I didn't, I promise. I haven't even tried the spell since the last time you told me not to, even though I promised myself years ago that I would never let anyone oppress my magic."

Rachel was sure that Kurt would appreciate the extra effort she put into lying to him.

In time.

Jesse managed to pull himself together enough to grin at her. They had a shared secret.

"Yes you did, yesterday, you Disappeared my left shoe."

Kurt glared at her harder and Rachel concluded Jesse made a horrible secret-keeper.

"So you did Dissapear my magic staff."

Jesse started laughing again, but Kurt ignored him in favor of making the tips of Rachels hair smoke, which she thought was unfair.

"I promise that I will not do it again. Ever. Even if it means that I will wind up alone and unloved."

Still smoking.

"And overworked, very overworked. Because I will be alone. Forever."

Smoke was gone.

"Very alone, and unloved."

Jesse was making faces at her behind Kurts back, faces that were hard to ignore when she was pointing out to Kurt how alone she was going to be.

"Like my robes. Which actually, now that I think about it, should be burned."

Kurt smiled slightly, and Rachel left before he remembered how important his magic staff was.

She did manage to stay long enough to hear Jesse's vulgar comment on where Kurt could probably find his 'magic staff', and his rather imaginative swears when Kurt turned his skin purple.

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End file.
